i apologize i cant i tried to put everything in one jpg but it looks like i can't
Friday, November 7, 2014
Critique of Project 3 Pyramid Bank USA
i apologize i cant i tried to put everything in one jpg but it looks like i can't
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This is beautiful! Really the way you utilized the logo shape to create the honeycomb look on the pages to hold the photos work so nicely. Also how you black and white everything other than your logo color.
ReplyDeleteThe only suggestion I would make would be to try justifying the quote on the last page under the truck. That's the only place my eye gets a little stuck. Amazing job!
I agree with Colleen that overall this is a well though out, beautiful piece! I really wouldn't say there is much to change here, the only thing that I see, in my opinion, is maybe trying the headline be not italicized. I think the headers are the same typeface as your logo but instead you've chosen to make them italics... I feel like it doesn't tie in with the whole look and feel of the business. I think it takes away from the sharpness and edginess of your design. Other than that, I think it's great! I like the black and white photos with the red and blue accents, it really does feel like a real bank!
ReplyDeleteJose - this is a comprehensive project and the amount of pages that successfully "carry " the brand is impressive. I have some general questions:
ReplyDelete1. The shape you introduce to us on the cover is a "building block" that we see often. I wonder if there is a place you should introduce this 1 individual shape to us early in the project, used by itself in a bold, clever way that we will then recognize and appreciate as we see it being used to construct other larger shapes. Much like a business "builds" itself from a core set of principles - it's a starting point that we should be officially introduced to.
2. Sometimes I wonder about the shapes you are building, and what they signify. I think they are pretty random, right? In which case, their relationship to the text is really important - giving them a place within the composition that we DON'T question. Your reader should not be asking "what IS that" but instead be thinking "how clever."
Sometimes I think you could/should wrap type around the edges of these big shapes... and be more aware of where the sharp points are pointing (like on the Global Banking page). It's as if you are using an arrow... and that arrow should be pointing us to something of importance to the content.
3. You are using fake type. No good... as soon as someone actually realizes that you aren't always using real type the whole project becomes just a school assignment. It looses impact. So - find real type for this ASAP. (and make sure you get it proof read by me or someone).
5. Lastly - I'm not sure I see a 12 page brochure here... I think I count 13 pages. And the Style Guide is 14 pages. Not possible to produce these page counts - so make sure you are creating a booklet that can be constructed. Here are the page counts that work: 4, 8, 12, 16, 20, 24, 30.
This is worth diving back into and reworking - bring a fresh set of eyes to your layouts and you'll find that making some of these changes will be a matter of refinement and attention to detail and not big changes.